Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Holy Crap - Was I TIRED!

Well I said I was going to try and post more often but I kind of slacked off.  I have been SO tired!!!!  So my last day of chemo pills was on Friday, April 25th.  I felt great all week that I was taking the pills and thought "great, this is going to be easy.  I am going to fly through this just like I did with radiation".  WRONG!  Fast forward to last Sunday and tiredness came over me so quickly.  It was like all of a sudden I was barely functioning.  I literally slept almost all day Sunday and Monday.  Since I was sleeping so much and had NO energy, I wasn't eating much.  Well that just led to dizzy spells and feeling even MORE tired and sluggish.  Last week was just plain rough.  When I was home alone with the kids I had to make sure I didn't sit down because if I sat down I could instantly fall asleep and I mean ASLEEP!  I have never been so tired before.  Poor Jamie would call every day at 2:30 to make sure I was awake and picking Owen up from school.  The tiredness really lasted for about 7 days.  Today is actually the first day that I feel I am on the upswing.  Feels so much better to have some energy.  I feel like a better mom and a better wife.  I had been feeling so bad for Jamie, he really stepped up this past week while I was so tired to help with the boys.  I was purely in survival mode to just make it through the day.  Here is some proof of my extreme tiredness.

Both boys playing iPads while I laid on the other couch and tried to take a quick nap.
 Jacob wanted cucumbers with his muffin for breakfast, no energy to fight him on it.  Well actually this took effort, I had to peel and cut up the cucumber too.
Owen looking annoyed and bored.  Also note, his pjs consist of pajama pants, matching Spider-Man socks and a totally unrelated Batman shirt that he wore for probably 72 hours straight.  

The one thing that I have been doing since I posted last is my photography.  For those that don't know me, photography is one of the things I LOVE more than anything.  Through all of this brain tumor/radiation/chemo my photography hobby has kind of taken a backseat.  Well I have gotten back into it and it's been such a great outlet for me.  I am really enjoying the challenge of it.  I had to get a new camera, NOT by choice but it has been a real challenge getting used to my new camera.  I was told the weeks following radiation that my mind might be slightly slower, I notice this when I read to Owen at night.  I am a pretty good reader (if I do say so myself) but lately I have been stumbling on my words a lot during the day I struggle to think of the right word or use the wrong words in sentences.  I was told to expect this because my body is SO tired and still fighting and recovering, not that my brain has been damaged.  So I am really enjoying the challenge of photography.  I have to do a million things at once.  The other weekend I was literally trying to get a 4 year old, Karter to sit in a small shaded area with perfect lighting (not an easy task to get a 4 year old to sit still), simultaneously setting the ISO, aperture, shutter speed, focus points, etc WHILE pretending to be stung by a bee to keep Karter's attention.

 It's a lot of focusing and a lot of coordinating a bunch of pieces of the puzzle together but then I get images like this THESE...  makes me SO happy that I still got it! 

Meet 4 Year Old Karter!  Could he be any cuter? 

Tired, still recovering from radiation, in the middle of chemo but my brain still pulls it all together to get some great shots!  I just can't even explain how good it feels for me to prove it to myself that my brain is still working like it was before.  Hoping to get out some time really soon with Owen and Jacob to get some updated photos of them. Maybe I could even convince Jamie to help us out with a little Mother's Day shoot this week.  Jamie just LOVES to help out with stuff like that.... do you sense my sarcasm? 

Well that's about it.  I am hoping my energy is even better tomorrow.  The boys are both at school so I plan to take a LONG nap!  Here are a few more recent photos of my boys just hanging out around the house.

Jacob LOVES legos.  So fun to watch him build things and then pretend play with the "trucks & diggers" that he has made.

Owen got new shoes and they are like MAN shoes!  They look like big boats!  How are we out of the toddler type shoes and into the BOY shoes! 

Cutie Pie

Apparently video games are really funny.

Owen put on a movie and they actually sat right next to each other and watched it.  This NEVER happens.

Brushing your teeth with your pants on is over rated! 

Love my Owen!

The only toys they need for a bath.  Woody and Hulk, both their favorite characters.  

Well that is all for tonight. Not too much else is new here.  I still don't have ANY signs of new hair growing back.  :(  They said it would take  3 months to start to grow back, guess I was hoping it might be sooner.  I will just keep on waiting and constantly touching my head wondering if what I feel is hair or just dry scalp.  It's always just dry scalp.  :)

 Hope everyone has an amazing Mother's Day this weekend.


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