I was hoping to get a blog up last night but between having my little sister in town with Piper and me being so tired it just didn't happen. Plus last night we had a last minute girl's night at my house that ended at 11:30pm and I needed to head to bed right after everyone left.
Felt good last night to get together with the girls. Started out a little rough. Apparently Jacob did NOT receive the memo that we have a LOT going on in our lives right now and has decided that he no longer wants to be a good sleeper. Jacob since he was about 3 months old refused to be snuggled or rocked before bed, he just always wanted to be set in his crib and would immediately fall asleep. Well the last 4 or 5 days bedtime has been a real problem with him screaming and crying until we come back in and rock him. Fine, no big deal, I don't mind rocking him. Well Tuesday night Owen was up from 1-2am for no reason and then Jacob was up from 2-5am just screaming for no particular reason. The second you picked him up he was fine, the second you tried putting him back in his crib he would freak out. So we got about 2 hours of sleep that night. Then last night while the girls were here I put Jacob to bed and it was a mess. He screamed for nearly two hours before finally crashing. So all the girls were downstairs while I was in my kitchen crying to Jamie about how we just can't seem to catch a break. I mean really, we have so much on our plate WHY would Jacob decide NOW is a great time to pull something like this?
He's cute, but he's FEISTY!
So instead of being with all the girls, I was in the kitchen trying to pull myself together. This was supposed to be a fun night, not an emotional night and I just hate having people see me cry. After talking with Jamie for about 15 minutes it became clear that I just wasn't going to be able to pull myself together so I just grabbed a box of kleenex and went to be with the girls, I was just going to have to let them see me breakdown, there was no avoiding it. It ended up being really nice, I cried and got to vent about how everything just kind of sucks right now. I am exhausted, Owen and Jacob are fighting non stop, Owen is really struggling emotionally from everything that is going on, he is struggling physically from his last seizure and Jacob is just testing our patience EVERY single chance he gets. I cried and got it out and they listened like good girlfriends do and then we moved on to other fun conversations. We laughed and joked and by the end of the night I was feeling 100% better! It was just what I needed.
I can't believe that tomorrow wraps up my 4th week of radiation! Absolutely insane how fast it went. I only have two weeks left. My little sister Abi came with me today. When people come with me they are able to enter the room while I get on the table and have the mask strapped down and then everyone else leaves me while they go back behind a 10' thick wall, okay it's really not 10' thick but it's THICK. Every time everyone leaves,I think for a quick second, hmm everyone else is leaving and going behind that thick wall for safety and I am in this room ALONE with this machine pointed at my BRAIN. But this is what I need to fight this thing so what else can you do?! They are really only out of the room for five minutes tops, the treatment is SO fast and when Abi reappeared in the room she was sobbing holding a handful of kleenex. She has been in Phoenix since all this happened and I think being there today and seeing what I go through everyday made it real for her. I thought my bald head would have brought home the realness factor but apparently seeing the actual treatment was what did her in. I told Jamie about it and he said that it makes him sad when he comes too to see me strapped down on the table and then everyone has to leave me in this big room all by myself and then he is able to watch me on the computer in the hallway and he said it just seems so weird that I am just there all by myself. I guess I never really thought about what it's like for my family and friends to see it. I am just glad it's quick and that the team of people that work with me everyday is SO amazing! So sad that Natalie is being moved to another machine and today was my last day with her. :( She promised to stop back for my last treatment and to see me ring the bell to signal the end of my radiation!
As exciting as it will be to end radiation I know that I will most likely be starting chemo about a month after, so mid-April and chemo will be much harder on my body than radiation was so I am trying to mentally prepare myself for that. We talk to my doctor next week regarding chemo. So originally my mind set was getting through 6 weeks of radiation and now it may likely be an additional 9 months of chemo. I guess that's okay because I know it will be for the best AND I really have some good ideas of things I want to get up and running at Froedtert for my Random Acts of Kindness and this will ensure I am there pretty much daily for another 9 months so I will be sure to get all my stuff accomplished over there. :)
I really wish as EVERYONE that lives near me does, that spring would come SOON! This weather is not helping my mood at all. I am so tired and emotional lately. Just a week of 50 degree temps would do so much to help my attitude. Might even help the boys stop fighting so much! The sunshine right now is nice but really when it comes down to it, it's still freezing and all the sun is really doing is making me notice how dusty my house is. :) Does that drive anyone else crazy, I am in a constant battle between keeping the shades open to let the sun shine in and closing them so the dust isn't so noticeable. I guess I could try dusting too.... nah, I don't want to dust.
Okay... then I am HAPPY to announce that
Karate America in Brookfield is hosting a fundraiser for Owen on Saturday, March 15th from 1-3pm. We are so thankful for their generosity. Owen was a little ninja until my seizure and his last hospital stay and I can't say enough good things about this facility. They are SO positive and teach SO many important things, it's definitely not just karate but about being a better person within the community. We can't wait until Owen's gross motor skills are back to normal so he can start back up over there with his weekly lessons. Below is the information regarding the fundraiser. All money raised will be going into Owen's therapy funds so we can continue to keep pushing him to be the best he can be!
BOARD BREAKING FUNDRAISER
Karate America - Brookfield
Saturday, March 15th 1-3pm
First board $15, additional boards $5 each
Click the link below to sign up for this event on My Karate America's facebook page.
You need NO martial arts experience. Anyone over 4 years old can participate, even adults! You may purchase boards in advance at either Karate America location. You may also buy boards the day of the event.
I know I say this all the time but I can't thank everyone enough for all the love and support through all of this. I am not sure how we would be getting through all this without everyone's love and support!
I hope we have a great day at Karate America in honor of the most amazing, hard working and determinted five year old I know!
I LOVE YOU OWEN!