SIX MONTHS OF CHEMO - DONE!!!!
Well I did it! I have officially completed my sixth month of chemo. I am halfway done! Hell yeah!
This will be a short post. I am still catching up. I wish this post was full of positivity and high fives for getting to this point but this month of chemo was BRUTAL! I am not sure what the issue was, I went into the week with a really bad cold, I hadn't been eating well because of the cold and then the chemo really knocks out my appetite so maybe that was it but this past week was the worst I have felt since this whole mess started in the first place. I spent last week forcing myself to try and eat anything I could stomach, I had terrible spells of being dizzy and confused, I had NO energy and constantly needed to sleep and to top it off I spent one full night in the ER getting a 3am cat scan to rule out any brain swelling or changes with the tumor because I was so out of it. Good news is that the scans all looked stable, we will learn more at my MRI in October but for now they believe it was all caused by being sick, not eating, chemo..... just too much for my body at one time. Who knows?
We have dealt neurological issues with Owen since he was little and we always said it will be SO much easier when he is older and can communicate what he is feeling. Jamie and I can now see that it will never get easier. I am old enough to communicate what I am feeling... dizzy, confused, weak but you have NO idea what is causing it or what it means. It still sucks and leaves you freaked out and worried. It's hard to describe the feeling of being scared of your own body but that is what I felt all last week. It was just a long week of praying that I didn't have another seizure, praying that waves of being light headed would pass, praying that my tumor wasn't doing something terrible in my head. Yuck! Poor Jamie, he was so worried about me too. He was so great though, took AMAZING care of me. Made me all sorts of different things to eat, kept the boys busy so I could nap as much as possible and was just there for me like he always is.
I am finally feeling better. I would say that I am at like 80% today. Definitely not 100% yet but getting a little closer every day.
Stupid chemo...hopefully the fact that it kicked my butt so hard meant it was really doing some damage to that damn tumor! I don't mind feeling like crap if it's for a good cause.
How I really feel about my 6th month of chemo.
Well that's my whine for the day.
Half way done!
The sixth month was a big kick in the butt but I got through it. I think I can still say...
I GOT THIS.