Sunday, July 27, 2014

Four Months Down!

I'm still here!!!! Four months of chemo DOWN!!!!

No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth!  I am still plugging along.  I finished my FOURTH month of chemo on the 18th of this month.  Hard to believe I already have four months done, hopefully just 8 more to go.  My weekly blood work has continued to look really good and for the last week or so I have felt fricking great!  Not sure if it's the weather, the fact that my kid are getting along better or what but I feel like the OLD Alison!!!!! 

I really think I have been handling all that has been thrown at me pretty well.  Since December I have undergone brain surgery, radiation, chemo, countless blood draws and MRIs but honestly I have felt pretty good.  I have been tired and kind of an emotional headcase but overall not too many complaints.  My biggest issue was just that I felt like my patience was so low and unfortunately the people to probably take the brunt of that is my two sweetie pies Owen and Jacob.  That has been my biggest hang up, having the energy to be the mom I want to be, trying not to snap when they don't listen or when they spill their milk after I asked them 10 times not to play around with their cup.  My #1 job is to be mom and I felt like I was running at 50-60% all the time and most nights I went to bed wishing I would have been more patient, more interactive, less angry with the kids.  BUT... in the last week or so out of nowhere I feel like the old me is back.  I have patience, I am dancing while making breakfast, being goofy and silly while we are at the grocery store, blasting the music in the car, letting Owen pick out 10 million stupid Super Hero books at bedtime and I read them all even though it's late.  It feels so good!  I hope it sticks!  I am really enjoying my days again.

Of course, with this sudden change I also start to question WHY I feel different.  Has the tumor grown?  Shrunk?  Is there a reason that I am feeling different, is it good, is it bad?  Just kind of annoying that all things lead back to this damn twinkie in my head.  Unfortunately that is just a part of life for us now.

Speaking of my head, did you notice my new wig in my dorky "selfie" photos above?  I love it.  She's named "Carley" and I am really loving the new look.  It is a little bit of a process getting used to the bangs and I am VERY annoyed with myself that everytime I say "bangs" or thing about the word I instantly start singing that stupid Ricky Martin song in my head "she bangs, she bangs and when she moves, she moves".  I think that was Ricky Martin right?  Thanks again Lindsey for suggesting this wig to me!!! 

The boys have kept my busy this summer.  Owen just turned 6 and Jacob just turned 2.  So hard to believe.  Owen has been so talkative lately and I LOVE it.  It's usually like pulling teeth to get him to talk but he has been so conversational lately.  Jacob is talking up a storm lately too.  He is talking in full sentences now and it's so fun to hear the two interact.  This morning, Jacob wanted Owen to come play outside and Owen was ignoring him and Jacob said "five minutes, okay Owen, deal?" to which Owen replied "just stop talking to me Jacob".  Brothers!  

Sorry I haven't posted much lately.  Life is so busy.  I have my next MRI on Tuesday, August 7th.. yikes that is less than 2 weeks away.  Praying it shows that this twinkie hasn't grown! 

Here are a few recent photos.  Hope everyone has a great week!


 Huge thanks to everyone for all the continued love and support! 

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