Wednesday, March 5, 2014

A Great Day for Owen

Well I am happy to announce that Owen had a GREAT day today!  Actually shortly before bedtime last night he totally perked up and was running around and talking so much.  Then this morning before school he was just talking up a storm and Jamie and I kind of joked that it was like the "old" Owen was back.  Since my seizure and surgery in December and then Owen's hospital stay and seizure in January he has been so quiet and just not himself so we were SO happy to see him acting like his old self this morning.  Maybe being sedated for that MRI yesterday somehow magically changed him back, I have NO idea what happened but both Jamie and I noticed that he was totally different.  Then I got texts from both his speech therapist and his physical therapist today who both said the SAME thing!  That it was like the old Owen was back!

"He had the BEST day he has had since before Christmas!!!!! :) yay Owen!  Spot on with all of the language things, smiley, and super engaged"
- From his speech therapist

"I am thrilled to be able to tell you that Owen had an amazing PT session today.  He was his :-) playful self and was able to work intently on some activities that I haven't even broached in the previous weeks.  He also ended his session by peeking into Jacob's room waving to him and then going in and giving him a big hug!"
- From his physical therapist

I can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels to hear this.  That's my Owen!  Man, it just made my day to get this great feedback on him.  I hope that everyday for him just gets better and better!  

So Jamie and I were flying high getting all these good updates on Owen and then we went into my appointment to discuss our options for my treatment plan after radiation.  Talk about taking the wind out of your sails.  I went from being so happy to crying.  I am not even going to go into details on the appointment but let's just say that weighing your options between two different chemo treatments and having serious talks with your doctor about which one might help you live longer just pretty much sucks.  Why at 33 years old am I having to figure this out?  Shouldn't I be like a frail 88 year old woman talking about this?  Actually I wouldn't even be a frail 88 year old woman, I would be a feisty 88 year old woman, let's get that straight, there has never been and will never be anything frail about me.  I am a fighter, have been since I was little, ask my mom, I fought her on everything since I was about 18 months old.  :)  I will continue being a fighter, even if I look weak sitting in that doctor's office crying going through kleenex after kleenex listening to statistics and side effects and survival rates, I can guarantee you that I will pull myself back together and go on fighting.  I guess I was hoping the doctor would have had a clear answer for me, go with this plan, it's WAY better and will give you the best results but it was kind of like, there are two options, they both have crappy and good parts to them but it's up to you to decide.  One option would be way easier on my physically but the end results aren't as concrete, the other option would be very hard on my physically for at least a full year but has more concrete positive end results.  The thought of a full year of not being anywhere near 100% for my kids is what hurts the most. I know that family and friends would step up as they already have but I want to be the one caring for them myself!  That is what I am having the hardest time with.

So I have an MRI scheduled for mid April where we will see exactly what radiation did to this brain tumor.  Ideally it shrunk or at least stayed the same size, I pray we don't hear that it has grown and we really need to have our decision made by then as to how we want to proceed.  We have lots of research and thinking to do.  What will be best for not only me and my well being but our family in general?  

So that was our day.  Highs and lows, what can you do?  Did I mention that when we got home from my doctor's appointment and got the mail there was an envelope in there addressed to me and it was for funeral and cremation services?  What the heck?  Jamie and I just had to laugh at that one, not much else you can do but laugh at that point.

The day definitely end on some highs!  Our family friend Cindy dropped off a TON of goodies for us today!  A delicious mac'n'cheese for dinner tonight, beef stroganoff for tomorrow and all sorts of treats and goodies for the entire family.  The boys LOVED the Avenger place mats!  Jacob is also obsessed with the little spinning top!  :)   Thanks Cindy!  AND another great ending to the evening, tonight and last night Jacob is back to going to bed just fine.  NO idea what his deal was last week but this week is back to wanting to read a few books and then he wants to go right in his crib and he snuggles up and goes right to bed on his own instead of screaming for two hours.  So that has been AMAZING!  

Speaking of Jacob, I just came across these photos while cleaning up my desktop on my computer and they made me smile so I had to share.  Plus it reminded me warmer days.  This was just a random day that Jacob and I spent walking around downtown as I snapped a few photos of him.  Oh to dress the boys in shorts, tanks and their crocs everyday!  I can't wait for summer!  

Well I am heading to bed EARLY tonight.  I need some rest!  Can't wait for tomorrow, Liz drives up from IL to spend the day with me.  She already texted confirming our donut order!  Yippee! 


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