Tuesday, March 31, 2015

What's Next...

Well a HUGE thanks for all the support I received this last week as I finished my chemo.  I have had lots of big events in my life.  Lots that involved sports and then there is the birth of two children, watching Owen go through and accomplish some pretty big things but finishing up a full 12 months of chemo is pretty near the top of the list for my biggest accomplishments.  Last Monday was probably one of the biggest days of my life; so to everyone that reached out to me via a phone call, text, Facebook, etc THANK YOU! I felt like I was really celebrating with the entire army that has been behind me through this all.

So what's next you ask? 

Well hopefully my tumor stays stable for a long time.  There is really no knowing what will happen.  I will go in for MRIs every 2 months for at least another year or two and then they can get pushed out to every 3-6 months.  As long as everything stays stable.... we just keep monitoring.  The moment we see growth or a change we will have to come up with a new game plan, chemo again or hopefully there will be some new treatment available!  Please continue to send prayers our way that the tumor stays stable for as long as possible, like until I am 100 years old.

I am SO looking forward to getting some energy back. I have been told I should notice an improvement in my energy level within the next 6 months but it could take a full year to get back to 100%.  So in the meantime I have decided to start training for a half marathon.  Why not... I started training about 2 weeks ago.  I have been a runner my whole life and ran all through college.  I thought it would come back to me pretty quickly but it has been ROUGH!  Apparently I must have lost all the muscle in my legs because it feels like I am just running around with cement blocks attached to my feet!  I keep, thinking.. it will come ... it will come... Each day does get a little easier.  I do have to admit, it feels good to be out there, even when I am struggling, it feels nice to push myself and prove to myself that I can do this.  The half marathon in June 13th, fingers crossed I make it! Jamie was making fun of my playlist on my iPhone.  Apparently he doesn't understand why I think Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys and You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC are good for running.  Brings me back to high school cross country days. 

I think our house is finally healthy and getting back to normal too.  KNOCK ON WOOD!  Both Owen and Jacob were sick for almost 2 weeks straight.  Ear infection after ear infection, stomach bug after stomach bug.  Then my last round of chemo was actually pretty hard on me.  Usually it's not that bad but this last round I had two nights in a row where I was very nauseous and couldn't sleep all night.  I was VERY tired the week after too.  Like get the boys off to school and nap from 9:40-1pm tired.  Didn't help that Jamie was CRAZY busy with work last week too.  He was finishing up on a home he was building and the homeowners moved in on Friday.  So instead of being around to help when I was so worn down and the boys were sick, he was leaving the house by 6am and working super late to get the house ready for the homeowners to move in.  Anyone in the building industry knows how crazy that last week is, Jamie was running all sorts of errands, installing odd and ends hardware, finalizing all punchlist items, getting final occupancy.  I had to kind of fight through last week solo.  We all made it and this week is already a lot better.   

Now I just need to kind of figure out my game plan.  It's weird going through something like this.  My whole life revolved around doctor's appointments, MRIs, chemo, radiation, blood draws, etc.  Now it's like you are thrown back into your "old" life but you aren't the same person.  I am finding it hard to get back into the swing of things.  It's hard to explain but I just feel like my mind is all over the place.  I think I have gone out about 3 times in the last 4 days to get stuff to use to decorate our dining room table and I have NOTHING purchased.  I am just having a hard time planning and figuring things out.  This could just be from being tired, having two crazy kids, effects of my tumor or treatment, most likely it's all of these.  It's just kind of weird.  Usually after I put the kids to bed I sit at my computer and edit photos and now I am SO tired I just want to go to bed which is so not like me. 

I am trying to figure out this summer with the boys.  What camps do I want to send them too, do I need a babysitter one day a week for them, what kind of things do I need to be doing with Owen over the summer to help him stay on track with writing, acedemics, gross motor, fine motor.  I have so much guilt that Jacob has kind of been sitting on the sidelines for the past year.  So much energy has been placed on me and Owen that I haven't done ANY of the things I did with Owen when he Jacob's age.  I finally signed Jacob up for swimming lessons so I feel good about that but I need to carve out more one on one time with Jacob as well. 

Then I am trying to figure out how busy I want to be with my photography this summer.  I was crazy busy last summer and I am nervous that my energy level won't be able to do it again this summer.  I absolutely LOVE working with so many families but I think I may have to slow down a bit for at least this summer and limit the number of sessions I do each week.  I want to really focus on my family.  Lately I have been playing around with my camera with Owen and Jacob and trying to just be creative and get outside my normal photography style and it's been really nice.  So I want to allow time to be able to do more of that this summer.  Then of course I would LOVE to have time to help Jamie out with work.  I can't even put into words how hard he works and I would just LOVE to be able to help take a few things off his plate so that he doesn't have to work until 11pm or midnight every single night to stay afloat. 
Wow this post is really all over the place... see what I mean.  My mind is EVERYWHERE!  AHHH!!!!  I am looking forward to Easter vacation and especially looking forward to our trip to Disney in May!  I am also really excited that I bought a cute little beaded headband today and I think I might be able to pull it off.  Hair accessories.... how exciting!  I won't look like a 7 year old boy anymore!
Well I am off to lay on the couch and watch tv for a bit.  Thanks again for all the love and support.  I will leave you with a few recent photos. 


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